I mell a gunk.

Translation = I smell a skunk.

But that is what it might sound like when said by someone holding their nose. Which is what we were doing this morning. I started a new job a couple weeks ago, which I absolutely LOVE. I am doing some really great things, for a very cool company, in the area of education. More to come on that in another blog. Anyway, I was up early today getting ready for a meeting downtown, and I really didn't want to be late.

A few minutes after 6, I went downstairs to let Sheff out on his chain in the backyard. Off he goes, and started barking at something. It was still pretty dark out, and all I could see was a white puff moving slowly across our patio. Hm, strange looking squirrel. OH MY GOD! It's a skunk!!! The reason I saw the white puff, is because it was SPRAYING! OK, maybe it missed Sheff. Hurry up Sheff...finish your business and get back in here. Well, as you can imagine, the moment he came into the house, I knew. I yelled for Jason, we hurried him into the bath, and I scoured the kitchen for anything tomato. Chili sauce? Sure. Well, that didn't really work. I get online and find a homemade remedy with peroxide, baking soda, and soap. Didn't work either. Now we're both gagging as the smell has completely permeated our house. I refused to touch Sheff since I had to leave in a half hour and could NOT smell like a skunk at this meeting! After I abandoned Jason just before 7, he threw up. Twice.

We called our groomer, to find out she's closed on Wednesdays. Of course. We got him into PetSmart, and $50 later, he smells decent. Not good. But decent.

I spent another $80 at Target buying anything and everything deodorizing and neutralizing. Now here's something else to add to the equation. We have to now be selective about which Target we go to. The PetSmart on Sawmill Rd. where I made an appointment is right beside Target. Jason, incredibly flustered, got Sheff out of the car, and walked straight into and toward the back of PetSmart, no Target, no PetSmart, no Target. Yes, Target. He was so flustered, he took Sheff into Target, on a leash, apologizing on the way for the stinky dog (and man). No one told him he was in the wrong place! He realized, when he saw the bra department instead of the grooming shop.

We think we've neutralized the smell. But how would we know? You know when you're driving, and smell a skunk somewhere and think, "Ew, that's kinda gross, I hope we get past that soon." When your dog is sprayed 15 feet from your back door, it's a combination of death, eggs, and gasoline in the absolute most intense way.

Apologies in advance to anyone we see in the next few days. And you probably don't want to come by our house anytime in the next week or so. We're still detoxing.